Badminton 2025: Dressage Day One — Tails, Tantrums & Tiny Trot-Prancing Drama

Location: Badminton House — because nothing says “equestrian democracy” like competing on a Duke’s lawn.

Weather: Outrageously sunny. The British public is confused, frightened, and unprepared. SPF 50 stocks sold out.

 Tom McEwen and JL Dublin: Two Steps from Strictly Come Dressage

Tom McEwen strutted into the arena aboard JL Dublin like a man with rent due and something to prove. Despite a minor moment of interpretive expression (possibly caused by an aggressive bee, or the memory of a dropped carrot), they still nailed a leading score of 22.4 — the sort of number that makes everyone else quietly question their life choices. Judges sighed in admiration, horses munched their hay nets, and a legend was born. Caroline Powell's Vanishing Act: Now You See Her, Now You Don't

Defending champion Caroline Powell dramatically exited stage left before even setting hoof in the arena. Rumours suggest her horse, Greenacres Special Cavalier, simply read the test sheet and said, “Hard pass.” Others say he refused to perform without a velvet backdrop and mood lighting. Either way, dressage day lost a diva, and we're poorer for it.  The Young Guns: First-Timers, Big Dreams, and Internal Screaming

Tom Woodward and Low Moor Lucky made their Badminton debut, scoring 24.9 and leaving half the field muttering, “Beginner’s luck” through clenched teeth. His horse later confessed he had no idea what he was doing but appreciated the snacks. Yasmin Ingham, the world champion who somehow still had to prove herself because “Badminton’s different”, rode Rehy DJ with such polish it nearly buffed the judges' shoes. Fourth place, and a level of calm usually only seen in sedated yoga instructors.

Cross-Country Course Walk: The Riders Wander into the Abyss

Eric Winter's cross-country course was unveiled, and with it, a slow-motion montage of riders staring into the middle distance, questioning their training, their tack, and their insurance policies. The phrase “respectful but intense” was uttered, which in Badminton terms means “mildly terrifying with an option for carnage”.

One fence, known only as “that bloody coffin one”, is already trending on equestrian TikTok.

Quote of the Day:

“He trotted in like he owned the place, did a perfect halt, then spotted a pigeon and tried to exit via Canada. Ten out of ten for drama, twelve for flair.” – Assistant groom, currently rethinking life choices but still proud.

Final Thoughts: Dressage Day One – Prance, Positivity, and Personality

Despite the stress, the sunburn, and at least three horses giving solid “NOPE” energy to flowerpots, Day One delivered.

From debut riders smashing expectations to seasoned pros pirouetting like they’re being judged by Craig Revel Horwood, the standard was sky-high and the sparkle undeniable.

The horses looked gleaming, the riders were surprisingly vertical, and the atmosphere buzzed with the kind of shared delusion that only horse sport can bring. As JL Dublin struts into the lead, we’re reminded: win or lose, everyone here already deserves a rosette for simply surviving the warm-up ring with their dignity (mostly) intact. There is no eventing on earth like Badminton!

Roll on Day Two. More twinkling toes, theatrical tail swishes, and probably someone crying behind a trailer.