top of page
Riding and Competition
Your go-to source for all things equestrian sport, from high-stakes show jumping to the fine art of pretending you meant to miss that distance. Covering the latest controversies, baffling rule changes, and the eternal struggle of trying to keep white breeches clean, we bring you the real stories behind the ribbons—because let’s be honest, the horses are doing most of the work.
🥵 Beat the Heat—But Keep the Show On, Obviously!
The Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) has launched a bold new initiative to combat the sweltering conditions affecting riders, horses, and anyone foolish enough to wear white breeches in August: it’s called “Beat the Heat”, and it’s exactly what you think it is—well-meaning advice instead of rescheduling shows.
Aug 10
🥕 Bridles and Backlash: Is Dressage Finally Taking the Bit Between Its Teeth?
France has done the unthinkable—again. No, not another pension protest, but something far more controversial in certain circles: the French Equestrian Federation (FFE) has officially allowed bitless bridles up to Grand Prix at national level.
Aug 7
The Great Foaming Scandal: Dressage’s Dirty Little Secret (Now Banned by Emergency Decree)
In what can only be described as the lowest high-performance moment in equestrian sport since rollkur met Instagram, the Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) has issued an emergency rule banning the use of fake foam in horses’ mouths.
Jul 1
CSI 5* Inflation Crisis
Elite show jumping is facing an inflation crisis, with riders concerned that the once-prestigious CSI5* events have lost their...
Jun 22
Why Do Horses Suddenly Forget Basic Commands Right Before a Competition? The Ultimate Equestrian Mystery
It’s competition day. You’ve spent hours—no, days—getting everything perfect. Your horse is gleaming like a polished diamond, mane...
Jun 14
Leaked: “Equestrian Mums Wine Club” Group Chat Is Pure Chaos in a Saddlebag
Transcribed by Tilly Stirrup, who only joined to see the drama and stayed for the prosecco hacks Somewhere between school pickup and...
Jun 14
The Measurement Mania Reaches the Equestrian World
Dear horse lovers, if you thought the debate about the correct noseband tightness was already the pinnacle of equine discourse, you...
Jun 14
Equestrian E-Sport: Everything you need to know about this new trending phenomenon
In a revolutionary move for modern equestrian sports, equestrian governing bodies have announced the launch of Equestrian E-sports
Jun 5
Equestrian Sport Bans Riders With Under 10K Followers – ‘We Need Marketable Athletes!’
In a shocking move, the Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) has ruled that riders with fewer than 10,000 social media followers will be banne
Jun 5
Pirouettes of the Soul: "Inner Canter" Cult Grips Dressage World
What began as a whisper of spiritual enlightenment in the dressage arena has now blossomed into a full-blown metaphysical movement....
Jun 5
Horse Sport: Where the Real Competition is for Friendship
By Bridget “Bridie” McKenna, still waiting to be invited to the cool people’s lorry for wine Oh yes, horse sport is all about...
Jun 5
“We Actually Love Our Horses, You Weirdos”: Riders Clap Back at the Cancel Crew
“We Actually Love Our Horses, You Weirdos”: Riders Clap Back at the Cancel Crew
Jun 2
Introducing Extreme Natural Horsemanship
In a groundbreaking shift for equestrian sports, a new movement has galloped onto the scene: Extreme Natural Horsemanship, where horses make every decision—and riders just try to keep up.
May 22
Showjumping or Mouth Engineering?
In the world of showjumping, one unsung hero finally steps into the spotlight: the bit designer. From the humble snaffle to the...
May 17
Badminton 2025: Dressage Day One — Tails, Tantrums & Tiny Trot-Prancing Drama
Location: Badminton House — because nothing says “equestrian democracy” like competing on a Duke’s lawn. Weather: Outrageously sunny....
May 10
Riders Now Required to Wear Sponsor Logos Everywhere
In an unprecedented move to maximize branding opportunities, equestrian competitors are now required to wear sponsor logos everywhere.
May 3
Dressage, Western, and Showing Judges to Replace Scores with Emojis
In a bold move to make equestrian sports more engaging for the modern audience , the Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) has announced...
Apr 30
HoloDressage: The End of Traditional Dressage?
By 2040, all dressage tests will be performed by holograms of riders with their horses, the Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) has...
Apr 26
🥕 “Bits Work Because They Hurt”: A Whinny of Discontent from the Dressage Arena
In a recent presentation to the GEF, leading equitation scientists cut through the niceties and delivered what might be the bluntest line heard in a federation boardroom since someone accidentally served non-organic carrots at the Riders’ Welfare Lunch:
Apr 23
Luxury Brand Launches €5,000 Designer Hobby Horse
In a move no one asked for and yet everyone sort of expected, French luxury powerhouse Chèvre & Stick has unveiled its latest equestrian “must-have”: a €5,000 designer hobby horse named Le Galop.
Apr 22
The "Welfare-First" Competitions No One Wants to Enter
Equestrian sport is finally putting welfare first ! Well, in theory. Several federations have introduced strict new “welfare-first”...
Apr 21
"That Oxer Looked at Me Funny": Top 10 New Excuses for Refusals in 2025
By Tilly Stirrup Ah, the dawn of a new season! The sun is out, the fences are fresh, and the riders, bless them, are still convinced they...
Apr 12
GEF Launches Ground breaking Plan to Keep Horses Clean (Even When They're Just Minding Their Own Business in a Field)
In a proud moment for horse kind and clipboard-wielding officials everywhere, the Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) has announced its...
Apr 9
GEF Dressage Group Trots Toward Reform, One Thoughtful Step at a Time
New Hope for Dressage: GEF Considers Horse-Friendly Reforms (With No Whip Cracks Required) The Global Equestrian Federation (GEF)...
Apr 5
GEF Unveils Ground-breaking Plan: Dressage Horses to Experience Unprecedented Levels of Happiness Introducing the "Let’s Pretend the Horses Love It" Initiative
In a move that has left the equestrian world both bemused and bewildered, the Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) has announced its...
Apr 5
"Of Course They Love It!" Says Dressage Diva as Horse’s Eyes Scream Otherwise
Elite dressage rider Helga Müller has a simple message for the world: “Our horses love to perform.”
Apr 2
Olympics 2032 Introduces Kangaroo Jumping: A Hopping Revolution!
In a gravity-defying twist that has left equestrian fans speechless (and kangaroos smugly flexing their tails), the 2032 Brisbane Olympics
Apr 1
Hobby Horsing Scandal: Athlete Disqualified for Using Real Horse
At the International Hobby Horsing Enthusiasts Championships (HHEF), Finnish competitor Elina M. was disqualified after using a real horse.
Mar 28
Bloody Spurs and Bloody Sponsors: Showjumpers Caught Between Rules and Rage
The Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) is once again stuck between a rock and a hard place—or, in this case, between a sharp rowel and a...
Mar 26
The Innovative Introduction of the 'Worst Round of the Day' Award by Show Organizers
In an effort to boost morale and keep spirits high, show organizers have announced the introduction of the "Worst Round of the Day"...
Mar 25
GEF’s Grand Forum: The Circus of Transparency Strikes Again!
( Chișinău - Moldova) March 31st and April 1st, 2025, will mark the return of the much-anticipated “Global Equestrian Federation...
Mar 25
New Study Proves: Tight Nosebands Actually Improve Rider Safety—By Eliminating All Signs of Equine Free Will
(Brussels, Belgium) — A ground-breaking new study has confirmed what top riders have always suspected: tight nosebands are not about...
Mar 25
French Endurance Riders Traumatised by GEF's New Vaccination Rule – “We Have No Internet, You Imbeciles!”
(Flickr) French endurance riders are in crisis following the Global Equestrian Federation’s (GEF) latest ground-breaking (read:...
Mar 21
One Bad Photo: “It’s Just a Moment in Time.” One Good Photo: “This Is Horsemanship.”
There are two universal truths in the equestrian world. First, if someone takes a bad photo of you riding, it will be dismissed as "just...
Mar 21
bottom of page