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“Please Stop Noticing Things”: GEF President Alex Ferreira’s Annual ‘Do Not Perceive Us’ Address
At the latest Global Equestrian Federation Assembly, President Alejandro “Alex” Ferreira delivered a message that could be summarized as:
“Please stop talking about welfare problems. It’s making us look bad.”
3 min read


British Dressage: How do you define an unintentional whip use?
While the FEI was preoccupied with blood economy, British Dressage (BD) is grappling with an even more existential problem in its new Equine Welfare Threshold Framework: How do you prove intent? The BD decides on sanctions by distinguishing between ‘unintentional’ (gentle warning) and ‘intentional’ (more serious) use of aids.
2 min read


🇨🇳 Exclusive: The Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) Relocates Headquarters to China
In a press conference that began with a PowerPoint titled “Stop Asking Questions,” the Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) announced it will be relocating its headquarters from Lausanne to Beijing, effective immediately.
2 min read


New No-Blood Rule vs. Swiss Law
New No-Blood Rule vs. Swiss Law
No Blood Rule is now The Blood Rule
4 min read


The New Blood Rule: A Historic Leap Backwards
Today, November 7th, in Hong Kong, the Fédération Equestre Internationale voted 56–20 (with two nations looking politely at their shoes) to approve a rule that will now allow horses to continue competing while bleeding, so long as officials decide it’s the right kind of blood.
3 min read


The Parcours of Arrogance
Is the international showjumping elite gracefully pirouetting around Swiss animal welfare law?
6 min read


Riders with Backbone: 40,000 Voices Say No Blood
Riders with Backbone: 40,000 Voices Say No Blood
4 min read


🩸 The New 'No-Blood Rule': A Stain on Your Record, Not Your Reputation
By: An Officially Uninformed Source LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND – In a move lauded by the E.L.I.T.E. (Elite Legislative Initiative for Tournament Exemptions) as a victory for "proportionality" and "equine makeup artists," the GEF (Global Equine Federation) is set to vote on a dramatic softening of the legendary "No-Blood Rule." Previously, any visible blood on a competition horse, whether from a minor nick, a mosquito bite, or an unfortunate encounter with a jump resulted in imm
3 min read


From Oats to Overcomplication: How Feeding Horses Became Rocket Science (and Big Business)
Once upon a time, in the quaint, mud-soaked decades of the late 20th century, feeding a horse was simple. Oats. Barley. A scoop of chaff. Maybe, if you were feeling generous, a linseed mash on a Sunday. Horses survived. Many even thrived. And — whisper it — they were rideable.
3 min read


🥵 Beat the Heat—But Keep the Show On, Obviously!
The Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) has launched a bold new initiative to combat the sweltering conditions affecting riders, horses, and anyone foolish enough to wear white breeches in August: it’s called “Beat the Heat”, and it’s exactly what you think it is—well-meaning advice instead of rescheduling shows.
3 min read


🥕 Bridles and Backlash: Is Dressage Finally Taking the Bit Between Its Teeth?
France has done the unthinkable—again. No, not another pension protest, but something far more controversial in certain circles: the French Equestrian Federation (FFE) has officially allowed bitless bridles up to Grand Prix at national level.
3 min read


The Great Foaming Scandal: Dressage’s Dirty Little Secret (Now Banned by Emergency Decree)
In what can only be described as the lowest high-performance moment in equestrian sport since rollkur met Instagram, the Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) has issued an emergency rule banning the use of fake foam in horses’ mouths.
3 min read


CSI 5* Inflation Crisis
Elite show jumping is facing an inflation crisis, with riders concerned that the once-prestigious CSI5* events have lost their...
1 min read


Equestrian Social Media Influencer Launches Line of ‘Authentic Barn’ Perfume
In an era where influencers have turned everything from overpriced water to mood-altering crystals into bestsellers, it was only a matter...
2 min read


Why Do Horses Suddenly Forget Basic Commands Right Before a Competition? The Ultimate Equestrian Mystery
It’s competition day. You’ve spent hours—no, days—getting everything perfect. Your horse is gleaming like a polished diamond, mane...
4 min read


Leaked: “Equestrian Mums Wine Club” Group Chat Is Pure Chaos in a Saddlebag
Transcribed by Tilly Stirrup, who only joined to see the drama and stayed for the prosecco hacks Somewhere between school pickup and...
2 min read


The Measurement Mania Reaches the Equestrian World
Dear horse lovers, if you thought the debate about the correct noseband tightness was already the pinnacle of equine discourse, you...
2 min read


Horse Sport: Where the Real Competition is for Friendship
By Bridget “Bridie” McKenna, still waiting to be invited to the cool people’s lorry for wine Oh yes, horse sport is all about...
2 min read


Comment Closed: Germany’s Bold Move to Muzzle the Online Mob
By The Carrot Post's Department of Digital Diplomacy (and a very tired intern) In a move that has left both trolls and traditionalists...
2 min read


“We Actually Love Our Horses, You Weirdos”: Riders Clap Back at the Cancel Crew
“We Actually Love Our Horses, You Weirdos”: Riders Clap Back at the Cancel Crew
2 min read
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