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🐴 “I Paused for One Leaf and Now I’m a Criminal” – A Horse’s Tale of Time Penalty Injustice
By Sir Reginald of Haynetown, full-time event horse, part-time philosopher Look, I didn’t ask to be an eventer. I was perfectly happy...
2 min read
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Introducing Extreme Natural Horsemanship
In a groundbreaking shift for equestrian sports, a new movement has galloped onto the scene: Extreme Natural Horsemanship, where horses make every decision—and riders just try to keep up.
1 min read
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Horse Sues Owner Over Insta Photos
In an unprecedented legal move shaking the foundations of the equestrian world, a 10-year-old Hanoverian gelding, known publicly as Sir Whinny, has officially filed a lawsuit against his owner for unauthorized use of his likeness in a series of "embarrassingly staged and deeply cringe" Instagram posts.
2 min read
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Haters Are the New Trainers: Social Media Experts Share Tips on How to Ruin Your Riding Confidence
Gone are the days when riders learned from actual trainers with qualifications, experience, and a physical presence. Thanks to the magic...
3 min read
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Showjumping or Mouth Engineering?
In the world of showjumping, one unsung hero finally steps into the spotlight: the bit designer. From the humble snaffle to the...
1 min read
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“Leaked: The Secret Group Chats of Equestrianism”
Compiled by Tilly Stirrup, who is in none of them, and absolutely fine about it It was only a matter of time before someone spilled the...
2 min read
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Badminton 2025: Dressage Day One — Tails, Tantrums & Tiny Trot-Prancing Drama
Location: Badminton House — because nothing says “equestrian democracy” like competing on a Duke’s lawn. Weather: Outrageously sunny....
2 min read
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The Feed Room Drama: The Livery Yard Chronicles
By Tilly Stirrup, our resident horse drama enthusiast. There are many things that define a livery yard: the creaking fences, the whiff of...
5 min read
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Trailer Parking: How to Lose Friends and Alienate Everyone
Ah, trailer parking. The true test of one’s character, patience, and ability to piss off everyone within a five-mile radius. It’s not...
6 min read
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Riders Now Required to Wear Sponsor Logos Everywhere
In an unprecedented move to maximize branding opportunities, equestrian competitors are now required to wear sponsor logos everywhere.
2 min read
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Dressage, Western, and Showing Judges to Replace Scores with Emojis
In a bold move to make equestrian sports more engaging for the modern audience , the Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) has announced...
2 min read
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HoloDressage: The End of Traditional Dressage?
By 2040, all dressage tests will be performed by holograms of riders with their horses, the Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) has...
1 min read
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New ‘Emotional Support Formula’ Launched for Riders Who Can’t Stop Buying Pointless Supplements
(London, UK) — In a ground-breaking move for both horse welfare and rider financial ruin, leading equine supplement companies have...
3 min read
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🥕 “Bits Work Because They Hurt”: A Whinny of Discontent from the Dressage Arena
In a recent presentation to the GEF, leading equitation scientists cut through the niceties and delivered what might be the bluntest line heard in a federation boardroom since someone accidentally served non-organic carrots at the Riders’ Welfare Lunch:
3 min read
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Luxury Brand Launches €5,000 Designer Hobby Horse
In a move no one asked for and yet everyone sort of expected, French luxury powerhouse Chèvre & Stick has unveiled its latest equestrian “must-have”: a €5,000 designer hobby horse named Le Galop.
1 min read
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The "Welfare-First" Competitions No One Wants to Enter
Equestrian sport is finally putting welfare first ! Well, in theory. Several federations have introduced strict new “welfare-first”...
2 min read
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The Great Battle Between Horses and Fly Masks: Protection or Fashion Faux Pas?
Fly masks: the unsung heroes of the equestrian world—or the sartorial disasters of the century? If you’ve ever tried to put one on a...
2 min read
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🎩 “I Am Not a Joke, I Am a Horse”
By Sir Reginald of Haynetown - Champion eventer, reluctant fashion icon, long-suffering victim of novelty ear bonnets It was a crisp...
2 min read
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Scientists Unveil Genetically Engineered ‘Blue Tongue Horse’ to End Dressage Controversy
In a move that has the global horse world whinnying with both awe and suspicion, researchers from the University of Equestrian Tongues, in partnership with the Equine Innovation Tongue Lab, have announced the birth of a new, genetically engineered breed: the Equus caeruleus — more commonly known as the Blue Tongue Horse.
2 min read
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"That Oxer Looked at Me Funny": Top 10 New Excuses for Refusals in 2025
By Tilly Stirrup Ah, the dawn of a new season! The sun is out, the fences are fresh, and the riders, bless them, are still convinced they...
4 min read
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