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British Dressage: How do you define an unintentional whip use?
While the FEI was preoccupied with blood economy, British Dressage (BD) is grappling with an even more existential problem in its new Equine Welfare Threshold Framework: How do you prove intent? The BD decides on sanctions by distinguishing between ‘unintentional’ (gentle warning) and ‘intentional’ (more serious) use of aids.
2 min read


New No-Blood Rule vs. Swiss Law
New No-Blood Rule vs. Swiss Law
No Blood Rule is now The Blood Rule
4 min read


The New Blood Rule: A Historic Leap Backwards
Today, November 7th, in Hong Kong, the Fédération Equestre Internationale voted 56–20 (with two nations looking politely at their shoes) to approve a rule that will now allow horses to continue competing while bleeding, so long as officials decide it’s the right kind of blood.
3 min read


The Parcours of Arrogance
Is the international showjumping elite gracefully pirouetting around Swiss animal welfare law?
6 min read


Riders with Backbone: 40,000 Voices Say No Blood
Riders with Backbone: 40,000 Voices Say No Blood
4 min read


🩸 The New 'No-Blood Rule': A Stain on Your Record, Not Your Reputation
By: An Officially Uninformed Source LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND – In a move lauded by the E.L.I.T.E. (Elite Legislative Initiative for Tournament Exemptions) as a victory for "proportionality" and "equine makeup artists," the GEF (Global Equine Federation) is set to vote on a dramatic softening of the legendary "No-Blood Rule." Previously, any visible blood on a competition horse, whether from a minor nick, a mosquito bite, or an unfortunate encounter with a jump resulted in imm
3 min read


Winter Horse Care: Then vs Now — From Straw-Stuffed Sheets to Michelin-Man Rugging
Winter horse care has evolved from “make do and hope for the best” to a full-blown fashion show with enough kit to rival a North Face outlet.
3 min read


From Oats to Overcomplication: How Feeding Horses Became Rocket Science (and Big Business)
Once upon a time, in the quaint, mud-soaked decades of the late 20th century, feeding a horse was simple. Oats. Barley. A scoop of chaff. Maybe, if you were feeling generous, a linseed mash on a Sunday. Horses survived. Many even thrived. And — whisper it — they were rideable.
3 min read


🥵 Beat the Heat—But Keep the Show On, Obviously!
The Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) has launched a bold new initiative to combat the sweltering conditions affecting riders, horses, and anyone foolish enough to wear white breeches in August: it’s called “Beat the Heat”, and it’s exactly what you think it is—well-meaning advice instead of rescheduling shows.
3 min read


The Great Foaming Scandal: Dressage’s Dirty Little Secret (Now Banned by Emergency Decree)
In what can only be described as the lowest high-performance moment in equestrian sport since rollkur met Instagram, the Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) has issued an emergency rule banning the use of fake foam in horses’ mouths.
3 min read


Pirouettes of the Soul: "Inner Canter" Cult Grips Dressage World
What began as a whisper of spiritual enlightenment in the dressage arena has now blossomed into a full-blown metaphysical movement....
3 min read


HoloDressage: The End of Traditional Dressage?
By 2040, all dressage tests will be performed by holograms of riders with their horses, the Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) has...
1 min read


New ‘Emotional Support Formula’ Launched for Riders Who Can’t Stop Buying Pointless Supplements
(London, UK) — In a ground-breaking move for both horse welfare and rider financial ruin, leading equine supplement companies have...
3 min read


🥕 “Bits Work Because They Hurt”: A Whinny of Discontent from the Dressage Arena
In a recent presentation to the GEF, leading equitation scientists cut through the niceties and delivered what might be the bluntest line heard in a federation boardroom since someone accidentally served non-organic carrots at the Riders’ Welfare Lunch:
3 min read


The "Welfare-First" Competitions No One Wants to Enter
Equestrian sport is finally putting welfare first ! Well, in theory. Several federations have introduced strict new “welfare-first”...
2 min read


The Great Battle Between Horses and Fly Masks: Protection or Fashion Faux Pas?
Fly masks: the unsung heroes of the equestrian world—or the sartorial disasters of the century? If you’ve ever tried to put one on a...
2 min read


Scientists Unveil Genetically Engineered ‘Blue Tongue Horse’ to End Dressage Controversy
In a move that has the global horse world whinnying with both awe and suspicion, researchers from the University of Equestrian Tongues, in partnership with the Equine Innovation Tongue Lab, have announced the birth of a new, genetically engineered breed: the Equus caeruleus — more commonly known as the Blue Tongue Horse.
2 min read


“THIN AS A STICK!”: HOBBY HORSE WELFARE UNDER FIRE
Weighing in at an average of 1 kilogram, these “athletes” are apparently being neglected, overworked, and wildly underfed
3 min read


GEF Launches Ground breaking Plan to Keep Horses Clean (Even When They're Just Minding Their Own Business in a Field)
In a proud moment for horse kind and clipboard-wielding officials everywhere, the Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) has announced its...
2 min read


Brenda's Grooming Box Odyssey
I was told by my editor, “Go check out someone’s grooming box, Brenda. Just see what’s in there and report about it.”
2 min read
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