Hobby Horsing Scandal: Athlete Disqualified for Using Real Horse

In a shocking turn of events at the International Hobby Horsing Enthusiasts Championships (HHEF), Finnish competitor Elina M. was disqualified after officials discovered she had been using an actual horse instead of the required wooden stick with a fabric head.

The scandal erupted during the piaffe segment, when judges grew suspicious of M.’s performance. While competitors struggled to achieve perfect 90-degree knee lifts and stationary steps, M.’s "hobby horse" performed with effortless grace, muscle definition, and—most suspiciously—real neighing.

"It was truly a disgrace," said chief judge Martta N., shaking her head. "The rules clearly state that hobby horsing is a test of human athleticism, not an excuse to sneak in a four-legged professional."

M. initially denied the allegations, claiming her "horse" was simply a custom-made ultra-realistic plush model. However, her story unraveled when the so-called "hobby horse," named Thunderbolt, broke free and galloped off to the nearest patch of grass.

"That’s when we knew something wasn’t right," said fellow competitor Sofia L., who finished third in the event. "I mean, I train six days a week, perfecting my piaffe, and here comes someone trotting in on an actual Warmblood? Unacceptable."

The Hobby Horsing Enthusiasts Federation (HHEF) released a statement condemning the "unprecedented equestrian interference" and confirmed that M. has been stripped of her medals and banned indefinitely.

"This is a serious offense," the HHEF wrote in a statement. "We will not tolerate the use of biological horses in a sport that has fought hard to be recognized for its human-only athleticism. This is a very dark day for hobby horsing."

Meanwhile, Thunderbolt has reportedly been offered a lucrative modeling contract with a major plush horse manufacturer and is considering a career in normal competitive dressage—this time, as a legal participant.