The “Camel Revolution”: How a Horse Show Organiser is Conquering the Equestrian World with Camels

BY OUR CORRESPONDENT FOR ABSURD TRENDS

BAD DÜNENHAUSEN

The showgrounds of “Sahara-Sport-Events” are filled with a silence usually reserved for three in the morning during peak season. No whinnying, no frantic clattering of horseshoes on asphalt, no hysterical complaining about weather apps.

Instead: The contented chewing of a camel named “Daisy.”

Daisy is a camel.

While horse shows in Germany, England, and France are being canceled one after another due to the 40°C heatwave, organizer Hans-Joachim “Hajo” Wüstenberg leans back in his beach chair. He isn’t wearing riding boots, but an expensive linen shirt, linen shorts, sandals, and aviator sunglasses.

Mr. Wüstenberg, while the entire European equestrian elite is desperately trying to cool their horses in air-conditioned trailers and canceling events for heat safety, you are sitting here drinking Ayran. Are you the only one who can read a weather forecast?

Wüstenberg laughs dryly. “The weather forecast isn’t the problem. The problem is the ego of the European equestrian world. We are desperately trying to push Central European sport horses to peak performance in heat they aren’t biologically built for. That’s like trying to run a refrigerator as a sauna in the middle of the desert.”

You’ve taken a radical step. Your horse show is now called the “International Sahara Camel Dressage/Jumping Cup.” How did that come about?

“Two years ago, I was standing in the warmup arena at 30 degrees. My warmblood horse looked at me as if he wanted to sue me for animal cruelty for the rest of his life. That’s when I realized: modern equestrian sports are not planning for horse shows in the heat due to climate change and equestrian sport needs a serious upgrade. I sent the horse into retirement and bought Daisy and 30 other Camels. I haven’t sent out a cancellation notice since. When the temperatures rise, my horse show is just getting started.”

Critics accuse you of turning the equestrian sport into a farce. How do you respond to the accusations from traditional riding associations?

“Tradition? Tradition is a dried-up well! The associations have been debating whether to move start times to 1 a.m. just to spare the horses. You know what I do? I start at 2 p.m. The sun is at its peak, the lighting is perfect for photos, and my camels are as alert as a German show jumper after a triple shot of espresso. The associations are just jealous because they’ve missed the connection to climate reality.”

But a camel cannot be steered with a soft weight aid like a horse. Isn’t that dangerous?

“Dangerous? Not at all. It’s honest! If a warmblood doesn't want to perform, it’s forced into ‘submission’ with spurs and whips. If Daisy doesn't want to, she just stays put. That is true freedom. Last month, a competitor tried to strike Daisy with a whip. Daisy spat right in her face and laid down. The audience went wild with excitement. It was the most honest moment in dressage since the 2000s. Imagine the photos in the press - camel spit on a rider's face because she couldn't control her ego or her impulses. Glorious.”

What are your plans for the future? Will we see Olympic disciplines on the Camels?

“That’s the goal. We’re working on the new discipline, the ‘Gallop Caravan.’ We’re replacing show jumping with the ‘Dune Course.’ And instead of the classic award ceremony with ribbons, starting next year we’ll be handing out the ‘Golden Date.’ Whoever delivers the best performance at 42 degrees in the shade without the animal so much as blinking an eye - they win. We are the future of the sport. The others are just the past, desperately trying to keep their horses from collapsing with fans.”

One last question: Do you actually have a real horse left on the farm?

Wüstenberg glances at his smartphone, taps on a weather app that displays nothing but “EXTREMELY HOT,” and grins. “Only as a keepsake for my grandkids. So they know what kind of nonsense we used to do before we learned that in this heat and with the climate crisis, you’re better off going through life with a camel rather than a horse.