Horse Sport: Where the Real Competition is for Friendship

By Bridget “Bridie” McKenna, still waiting to be invited to the cool people’s lorry for wine

Oh yes, horse sport is all about connection—between horse and rider, rider and groom, and of course, between the same 24 people who have known each other since the womb and still somehow dominate every long list known to man.

Let’s talk about the real backbone of equestrian sport: not horses, not haylage, not even that one overworked steward holding the whole competition together. No, darling. It’s the friendship cliques. The unspoken alliances. The sacred, multi-generational social circles that rule horse sport harder than a head groom with three espresso shots.

You think you’re climbing the competitive ladder? No, darling, you’re climbing a social obstacle course with invisible rails and a judge called Becky who once shared a taxi with your ex's sister and still holds a grudge.

Eventing? If your horse doesn’t qualify, maybe your friendship with the cross-country selector will. Did your mum event with their dad? Welcome to the inner circle.

Dressage? You need a strong seat, steady hands, and three godparents on the judging panel.

Jumping? You’ll need bravery, precision, and a selfie with at least two top riders at a champagne reception. Was your pony once owned by a rider who once dated a rider who once partied in St. Tropez with a team selector? Boom. Shortlisted. Horse sport isn’t so much a meritocracy as it is a family tree crossed with an elite boarding school reunion. Riders aren’t just training horses. They’re curating social alliances stronger than FEI's stance on excessive whip use. Need to get selected? Better hope your friend’s cousin’s dog groomer’s ex used to stable next to the chef d’équipe. Otherwise, you’re just competing—which is adorable.

As one insider whispered in a portacabin (next to the coffee machine that only works for “the favourites”):“She’s not being left off the Nations Cup team because of her scores. It’s because she once forgot to clap at someone’s wedding.”

And don't even start on the “mutual admiration society” that is the collecting ring. “Oh no, YOU looked amazing!” “No YOU!” Meanwhile, their horses are spooking at each other like teenage girls in matching prom dresses.

GEF President Alejandro Ferreira was recently asked if favouritism was a concern. He replied: “We take allegations seriously. But more importantly, we take dinner invitations.” And the group chats? Oh sweet haynets, the group chats. That’s where the real rankings are decided. Forget the FEI database—try surviving the “Elite Eventers Only” WhatsApp without accidentally triggering a social meltdown by reacting to the wrong meme.

But hey, don’t knock it. Horse sport is built on relationships. Just, you know, not your relationships. Other people's. That you're not in. Yet.

Horse sport isn’t corrupt, it’s just... charmingly close-knit. Like a tweed onesie. With spurs.