Showjumping or Mouth Engineering?

In the world of showjumping, one unsung hero finally steps into the spotlight: the bit designer.

From the humble snaffle to the “Combination Pelham Hackamore-Gag-Super-Twister-Winch 3000,” the evolution of horse bits has raised one burning question:

Is this still about riding or assembling IKEA furniture in your horse’s mouth?

“We don’t actually test them on horses anymore,”

says Ernst Zügel, an industry veteran and self-proclaimed 'Bit Architect.'

“We just brainstorm ways to give the rider five more points of leverage, six ways to override the horse's opinion, and as many leather straps as humanly possible. Honestly, we’ve reached the point where the horse’s mouth is more metal than mammal.”

While riders debate the ethical implications of their growing iron collections, horse welfare advocates suggest that showjumping could focus less on “inventing medieval hardware” and more on — brace yourself — actual riding skill.

“It’s wild,” says Brenda, an horse show tourist who thought ‘Double Bridle’ was a cocktail. “The more complicated the bit, the less it seems about partnership and the more it’s about remote-controlling a 600kg animal like a misunderstood drone.”

Sources confirm some showjumpers spend more time at the bit wall than in the saddle, adjusting gear like engineers tuning a race car, only to still forget the basics: riding, seat, balance and a partnership with their objects. Erm. Horses.

Meanwhile, horses everywhere have applied for mechanical engineering degrees to understand what’s in their mouths.

One rider, anonymously, put it best:

“Less tack, more talent. But then some riders would be unable to navigate their horses...."